What do you think about, when reading the title of this article? We suppose your thoughts are quite similar to ours. Our parents tend to joke embarrassingly bad; especially they like to do that when we come home with our friends. Come on, dad, do not make me puzzled because of your “dusty” sense of humor! Moms are a bit politer usually, so dads take the double role in embarrassing us. Fortunately, the mothers often save the situations with their soft: “Stop it, you make our little child be like he does not know us!”, but our reputation cannot be saved at all after our friends’ communication with our fathers. Here we want to remind you the most popular dad jokes, just for you to think twice before trying to put in touch your comrades with your funny family.
Horrible Dad Jokes
Here we start our journey into the perfect world of horrible jokes. You should know that we did not want you to see this. Well, we did want, actually, but we hope that it will not harm your mental health. Be brave and continue reading. Remember that we have already read this bullshit, you are not alone.
- “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
- “Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.”
Awesome Dad Puns
Our dads’ sayings can make a good shot and cheer us up. After the embarrassing jokes above you should take a rest and relax, laughing at these really cool puns. Enjoy!
- “If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?”
- “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!”
Corny Dad Jokes
So you believe that you are intelligent and smart? Do you think that you are an expert in the field of humor? Then check out these idiotic jokes and try not to laugh, you, phoneys!
- “Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind… it’s tearable.”
- “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
Dad Joke Meme
You might see these highly popular memes with the screen captures of the “Walking Dead” series. We were happy to found out that almost all of them are really lolable! Here we present just two of those images, but you can search for more and we assure that you will be pleased with any of them. You will be, Coral!
Best Dad Jokes Ever
The sincere humorous intent of your father is usually nice, but he often touches the topics he should not. Then you realize that you should not laugh – as far as you are “just a child and do not know about all that stuff” – or cannot resist laughter and finally burst with yock, under your mother’s disfavor. Dad, you can embarrass me even with the best joke you could ever tell…
- “I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!”
- “I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m not hurt. It was a soft drink.”
Jokes So Bad They’re Good
Do not go to the shop with your dad. Or to a restaurant. Of course, you can, if you know certainly that he is not going to crack his ordinary jokes; but if you are not ready for this – gather your heart. Your father’s strong desire for communication can result in an awkward pause. Try to resist a facepalm, it can hurt your dad, who believes that he is the best comedian ever.
- “Cashier: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?” DAD: “No, just leave it in the carton!””
- “Waitress: “Soup or salad?” Dad: “I don’t want a SUPER salad; I want a regular salad.”
- “Server: “Sorry about your wait.” Dad: “Are you saying I’m fat?””
Best Funny Dad Jokes
We are not sure that these puns are the best ones from all that we have presented on this page, but they still can make you laugh. Check them out! We hope you will like them.
- “Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!”
- “What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.”
Hilarious Dad Jokes
These are so bad dad jokes that they are actually funny. We were surprised at how a certain degree of dullness can be humorous.
- “Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? Because they were watch dog.”
- “Can February March? No, but April May”
Deadbeat Dad Jokes
The statements of our parents can make us extremely puzzled, almost catatonic. Dads went ever farther with their phenomenal skills to joke – one can say that they were trained those skills for all their lives, and we are really afraid of what will be in future when their talent will get to the top.
- “Dad: You know, birds might usli>
Dad: Bc we know they already tweet so…”
- “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
Good Bad Jokes
Dad has a huge experience in the field of humor, believe us. Do not try to compete with him, as you will fail and suffer the most humiliating defeat. And, please, do not tell the dad’s jokes in a group of your friends, as you will get the reputation of an old and stupid trout. Your father can be forgiven for his puns, as he belongs to the other generation with its own customs; but you will be mocked and ridiculed.
- “Did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be doing a movie about classical music? He’ll be Bach.”
- “How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise, they’d be uncles.”
Really Bad Dad Jokes
Be sure, our dads can also suffer from their sense of humor. Mothers are their strongest allies and adversaries simultaneously. You’d better tell your father that he should not mess with his wife, as she is the real King Pin in the family and can win against any of his humorous weapons. The examples you can read below.
- “My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean. I don’t know why she’s mad at me.”
- “A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, “First offender?” She says, “No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!””
Dad Jokes One Liners
If your dad is a linguist, he can use his academic experience to create the puns. We saw the perfect examples of the wordplay in the past, but these are the sayings you should ignore. Well, you can familiarize yourselves with them, just to know, how stupidly the academic degrees can be used.
- “What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.”
- “What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.”
- “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant”
Cheesy Dad Jokes
When talking with your dad, be ready to various punchlines – parent really like to diss the child, as the latter cannot actually answer directly or rudely. We do not encourage you to nut up and start barking; just think about it as of another pill to swallow. You will be the same, and your children will suffer from your own jokes.
- “Kid: “Hey, I wasli>
Dad: “I thought I smelled something burning.”
- “Son: “Dad, li>
Dad: “Hi hungry, I’m Dad””
Great Father Jokes
There are legends about the fathers with the stunning sense of humor. If you are here with us, your dad does not belong to the group of those cool guys. Wipe your tears. You are not alone. We have prepared some of the wonderful dad puns to distract you from the continuous flow of your own father’s idiotic sayings.
- “Dad, passing national peanut festival: I’ve heard that place is nuts.”
- “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
Jokes Your Dad Would Tell
Check out these sayings: we highly recommend that, as you can probably see your father in these jokes. They are ordinary, obvious, pointless – just like the majority of the jokes that your dad would tell.
- “When you ask a dad if he’s alright: “No, I’m half left.””
- “Mom: “How do I look?” Dad: “With your eyes.””
Awful Dad Jokes
Sometimes dad can pass the border and start joking about the things that should better rest in peace. We can include religion, death, and sex in this set. However, who can be braver than a father? Nobody! We can only hope that he has nine lives, as after such puns he can get some hits.
- “When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!”
- “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
Classic Dad Jokes
Dad can make any wish come true. Do you want to become a sandwich? Poof – and you are already! Do you want to watch the TV? Nah, this is too hard for our dear wizard, forget about it.
- “I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.”
- “Me: “Dad, make me a sandwich!” Dad: “Poof, You’re a sandwich!”
We do not know, why parents tend to crack a bit racist jokes, but they are still adults and can be responsible for all that they say. The puns below are not as racist as they could be, but the Mexicans can get offended, even if your dad just making the wordplay.
- “What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.”
- “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.”
One Liner Dad Jokes
Do you remember all those stupid questions with the dull answers? We wonder, why only our dads know those questions and try to create even more of them. If considering in details, there is something funny in such sayings, but why, for the God’s sake, our fathers try so hard to help them live?!
- “What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.”
- “What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.”
Yo Daddy Jokes
If you know that your enemy’s dad is a weird and dull person? Try to diss him with such puns! We do not advise you to do that, but if you want to do this so bad and so long – take these sayings as your weapon!
- “Yo Daddy so bald… Ohh, wait that’s yo mama.”
- “Your daddy so gay, I called him a homo and he started chasing me with a pink dildo.”
Terrible Dad Jokes
One can say that the animal jokes are so popular because of the animals’ inability to understand us and to answer with their own puns. However, why the jokes like these exist – is a mystery for us. Probably, you can tell us, why they are met on the Internet so often, as we are still thinking about this controversial issue.
- “What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroganoff.”
- “What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.”
Lame Dad Jokes
After telling such jokes you can hear only the chirp of the crickets. Of course, you, as a close relative, would laugh at these puns, if they are said by your dad, but do not use them by yourself; reading this, remember, how high the degree of stupidity can be.
- “What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!”
- “What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
Worst Dad Jokes
The authors of these jokes might be either the real idiots or just a bit strange individuals. Well, there is a bit of reality in these dialogs, as our dads tend to answer weirdly to our asking, but to share such things on the Internet is far from adequacy. They can trigger the laugh but the hesitated only; tell us, do you feel the same when reading them?
- “- Dad, can you put the cat out? – I didn’t know it was on fire.”
- “- Dad, can you put my shoes on? – No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”